Essa Alroc is an Orlando Florida based freelance writer and SEO design consultant who has written on so many topics, she feels arrogant enough to give her opinion on everything. Hence the whole “Essa on Everything” name.
She established Essa on Everything in 2010, shortly before she released her first novel, which was a Florida-based mystery. She maintains that being a Florida mystery writer gives her enough bizarre material to keep her writing well into her 90s, if she isn’t killed by a hurricane, an alligator or Ukrainian mobsters first.
While she’s waiting for her career as a mystery novelist to take off, she follows her second passion; the internet. Aside from being an award-winning humor and mystery writer, she’s also a search engine optimization expert who specializes in helping small business owners make the most of their websites. You can visit her business page at Orlando’s Write Words if you’re interested in seeing what she can do for your business. There is no niche she can’t handle.
During her free time, she indulges herself in trashy reality television, trying to get her dog to take her pills, and yelling at the news. She’s also a life-long learner, because the longer you go to school, the longer you can put off paying your student loans. She’s currently pursuing a Master’s Degree in Fine Arts.
Before you fill out the contact form, please take a few minutes to really consider why you need to reach out to her, and try the troubleshooting steps prior to making contact.
#1. Are you angry about something she’s written?
- No (proceed to comment form)
- Yes (go to questions 2)
#2. Did you read the article you’re about to complain about? (As opposed to just reading the title and finding a reason to get pissed, because you’re drunk, lonely and bitter)
- No (proceed to article to prevent looking like an idiot)
- Yes (proceed to question 3)
#3. Do you know how to use spell check, as well as how to turn your caps lock off?
- No (retire from internet until you learn simple tasks a 3rd grader can do)
- Yes (proceed to question 4)
#4. Are you going to be able to keep this under 200 words?
- No (come on, man! It’s not like I get paid for this)
- Yes (proceed to question 5)
#5. Have you tried turning Essa off, and then turning her back on again?
- No (try it, seriously. I’m easy)
- Yes (proceed to contact form)