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Essa’s Guide to Hurricane Preparedness


Since I was a kid, I’ve had this recurring dream. There’s a monster but it isn’t under my bed. Instead, it’s huge and it’s on a rampage. So I hide. Where I hide, that always changes. Under the bed, behind the refrigerator, in the floorboards, regardless of where I manage to cram my fat ass, I always get found. And at the end of that dream, I always die.

From that dream, I’ve learned two things. Number one, that myth where you die in a dream and that makes you die in real life? Total bullshit.   I guess I could have just used logic on that one. After all, if someone dies in a dream and dies in real life because of that dream – doesn’t that mean they died in their sleep? Then how did they tell anyone how they died?

Number two, preparation doesn’t stop a disaster.

So you know what I bought today at the store when everyone else was fighting over water and propane?

Candy and beer.

Yup, I bought those two items because worse comes to worse, I won’t be able to buy them for awhile. They’re luxury items. So I bought them. Everything else, I figured out way before.  So today, this is what I did;

  • I made bread –   Not just regular bread, but banana bread, beer bread, apple bread. Pretty much if I can make bread out of it, I’m turning it into bread.   Bread is portable, nutritious and when made right, can last weeks. In the worst of conditions, one slice of bread can be a meal.
  • I stored water – The stores around me are out of bottled water, have been for days. Honestly, I wouldn’t have bought it in the first place. I’ve filled all my plastic containers, from old juice bottles to old milk gallons, with water. I’ve frozen them. This creates a way to keep my perishable food cold and an eventual source of water. In the event that the storms get severe, I will block up all my drains using plastic bags or stoppers. That allows me to fill my tubs, sinks and toilets with as much water as possible.
  • I bought duct tape – Duct tape is endlessly usable.  You can use it to fix a broken window, develop a filtration system, splint a broken arm and minimize wind pressure with a few garbage bags. Never underestimate the power of duct tape.

My focus has been on surviving in my home when possible and the ability to leave it at the drop of a dime. It’s been on the ability to survive on scraps while fighting off the scavengers. It’s been on surviving another day with one goal in mind.

Get more candy and beer.

As much as I joke, I’m ready. I’m not hiding from the monster. I’m facing it head on. I can’t guarantee I’ll win, but I can guarantee I’ll put up one hell of a fight.

See y’all after Irma. Later gators.

2 thoughts on “Essa’s Guide to Hurricane Preparedness

  1. I love you guys so much and I really hope you stay safe and sound! Sounds like you are def prepared! Please keep us posted and let us know your safe when it passes! ❤❤❤

  2. I have a cousin who used to live in Buffalo, New York, where she always had to face a different type of hurricane: blizzards. Yes, those things are actually arctic hurricanes. As one particular bad snowstorm headed her way many years ago, she told her mother she couldn’t get anything at the store; the shelves were picked clean. But she was prepared nonetheless: she had a frozen pizza and a bottle of wine.

    I have a cousin on my dad’s side who currently lives in Houston. He was in Montana on vacation, as Hurricane Harvey approached; so he cut his vacation 2 days early and returned to Houston. He is definitely prepared. He already had sheets of plywood measured and cut to fit his windows; a generator; dried food rations; bottled water; and, of course, his gun. While his neighborhood was inundated with heavy rains, it didn’t flood like one-third of the city and so many surrounding communities.

    It’s amazing how some people usually wait until the last minute to start preparing for a natural disaster. If you live on planet Earth, you have to be prepared for the worst nature has to offer. There’s just no way around it, no matter how much insurance coverage you have. Sometimes nature gets really pissed off just for the hell of it and has to smack self-righteous humans around to make them realized IT is still in charge!

    I hope you and your son can stay safe, Essa! Have a beer and some candy for me! I’ll have some wine and cheese on your behalf tomorrow night!

    Please let us all know how things turn out for you.

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