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Kids these days



I find it ironic that the people who claim to hate labels the most are also the ones who demand them the most. I’m talking about all the polyamorous, gender fluid, asexual, aromatic cis gendered white people who are so desperate to be unique, they need to give you their entire sexual history on their FB ‘about me’ page.

Because having to choose between male and female is too “in the box.” They’re not going to let you put your labels on them. Instead, they’re going to put a bunch of labels on themselves and demand you adhere to their labels. I guess that’s supposed to be better?

You know what the problem is? Kids these days don’t have enough real problems. When my mom was a kid, she had to worry about polio, asbestos and choking to death on the wig powder from the wigs that all those people wore back then. When I was a kid, it was AIDS. Yes, AIDS used to kill you. There was no cocktail. It was just a death sentence.

Now, as my kid heads into adulthood, I worry. I worry because maybe I didn’t give him enough to worry about.

Fear is a gift. It’s something we’re given to help us overcome adversity. Whether we’re worried that we might not be able to pay the rent, or that we might catch a contagious illness, it’s something that forces us to react. When I fear I might not be able to pay the rent, I work more. When I fear I might catch a serious, contagious illness, I make every effort to prevent being exposed.

But what do you do when your biggest fear is someone not respecting your chosen pronoun? Do you hold a massive protest or tweet to an echo chamber of your friends? Because here’s the deal. When you take a stance like gender is fluid, two things will happen. Everyone who agrees will agree with you. Everyone who disagrees will not. You will not change minds and as a result, you will not change anything.

When AIDS was a problem, we raised awareness to create a cure. We made it clear that AIDS was something that impacted everyone and we asked for solutions. But then again, AIDS was a problem that did impact everyone. As a result, it got attention.

You getting pissed because someone refuses to say “they’ when referring to you because after 18 years on this earth, you can’t decide what your gender is yet, is not. Look, no one really cares what you do. In any given day, other people will spend about .00001% of their time thinking about you.  The people that disagree with you will continue to disagree. The people that agree with you will continue to agree. But neither side will make you feel better about being you.

You want to be a dude even though you were born with a vag? Cool, ain’t no skin off my tits. You want to do the opposite? Again, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t care who you fuck, your political views or if you sexually identify as an apache attack helicopter. Literally, no one cares.

Yes, I just said literally unironically. Because no joke, people do not think about you as much as you wish they would.

Kids these days, their big fear is terrorism. Problem is, terrorism is as invisible as the boogie man.  It only impacts a world outside of themselves. Some kids, smart kids, they react the way they should. They get into STEM fields to protect our cyber boarders. They join the military to protect the real ones.

But most of the time, it feels like they’re doing neither while demanding free college where they can explore their gender fluidity while protesting the use of ‘he’ as a pronoun in a fucking form letter. To all those gender fluid, pansexual, ‘it’s complicated’ individuals, I say this.

No one gives a fuck.

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