Home » Uncategorized » I’ll Admit it…I Have No Intention of Voting Today

I’ll Admit it…I Have No Intention of Voting Today

This morning, I woke up to a ton of helpful reminders to vote today.  My only answer could be ‘no.’

I’d like to say I have some deep political reason for failing to vote. I’d like to say I’m protesting a corrupt system, unfair campaign practices and voter misinformation.

In reality, I’m not voting because of Primetime television.

Every show I see about politics or Washington has the same theme. Backbiting politicians buying votes with the money they get from whatever lobbyists are financing their careers. I mean, what the hell is the point of voting when Olivia Pope can just rig the machines and then blow up an office building full of people to cover up the crime?


I really need to stop watching so much TV.

Here in Florida, the race for Governor is taking center stage, with Charlie Crist and Rick Scott leading the way. For the past few months, I’ve been barraged with media messages telling me how evil they both are. If I vote for Charlie Crist, he’ll take away my job. If I vote for Rick Scott, he’ll burn down a college while eating a live puppy.

I have no opinion on either candidate, except to say that Charlie Crist looks exactly like a photo negative. What’s up with that?

Charlie Crist, the only man on the planet who looks relatively normal when you hit “invert image colors” in Photoshop.

Charlie Crist, the only man on the planet who looks relatively normal when you hit “invert image colors” in Photoshop.


I am plagued by equal parts apathy and cynicism. Whenever I’m forced to leave the house, I have to ask myself “is this worth putting on my shoes for?” Fritos and beer gets put firmly in the yes column, while midterm elections sit strictly in the ‘no’. Unless, of course, they’re giving away Fritos and beer.

My natural Gen-X apathy makes it impossible to make a decision unless there is some kind of immediate benefit to me. What can I say? My generation is inherently selfish.

On top of that, after watching about $100 million worth of ads with nothing but mud slinging and exaggeration, I don’t count on either candidate to tell me the truth. Look, I know the governor is an important guy, but I highly doubt he’s directly responsible for hundreds of thousands of people losing their jobs. Tax breaks and big business incentives only take us so far. After twenty years of surplus, we’re in a recession. It happens and I don’t think the big issues can be blamed on one dude.

There’s even a pretty big issue on the ballot today. It’s Florida’s initiative for medical marijuana. Amendment 2, for all you actual voters out there.  Some believe that it could even sway the election by getting supporters of legalized marijuana to the polling place.

They didn’t consider the Catch 22. The fact is, you’re counting on pot smokers to actually DO something. Have you ever been into a polling place while high? It’s scary as hell. There’s cops EVERYWHERE.

I mean, it’s not like I’m going to quit smoking pot if it stays illegal. Hell, even if they make it legal, I still won’t leave the house to get the prescription. Unless someone opens a dispensary in my living room, I’ll stick to shady midnight drug deals, thank you very much. Less paperwork.

Yes, I am fully aware that I’m part of the problem. I should be more grateful for living in a democratic society, where every voice is heard. The problem with every voice is that once everyone starts yelling, it all turns into a giant jumbled mess where you can’t decipher any one voice from another.

Am I doing anything worse than one of those people who show up to vote, after learning no information about the candidates or policies? You know the kind of people who vote for the handsomest candidate, or the one with the funniest name? There was a reason the Dick Swett kept getting elected in New Hampshire, and it wasn’t his politics.

If anything, I’m doing all you actual voters a favor. By keeping my completely uninformed opinion to myself, I’m making your vote matter more. I’m thinning out the pool.

You’re welcome, America.

10 thoughts on “I’ll Admit it…I Have No Intention of Voting Today

      • Yes, I actually saw a few! There was a woman ahead of me who had a giant black spider atop her head. At her age, she didn’t look cute; just stupid. Of course, none of that scared me as much as Ted Cruz and the thought that foreign-born fool could become our president.

  1. Voting one thing for me:

    If I don’t give them a vote to abuse in their various ways, then I have no right to bitch about it. How can I bitch about the choices on the ballot if I’m not going to vote? How can I bitch that they’re going to fuck around with the numbers in the tally if I don’t give them a vote to fuck around with?

    But your attitude won out this time: lowest turnout in a mid-term since 1942.

    • I like to think that has a little something to do with me. In fact, I might be the leader of the anti-voting movement. I don’t know though, because we didn’t have a vote for leadership positions. 🙂

      The truth is, I’m not political. As a non-political person who knew nothing about the issues, I figured me voting would have been just as bad as not voting at all, so I did the thing that saved me the most gas.

      I see a lot of people who did vote complain, but then those people clearly have no understanding of the complex issues and instead say silly stuff like “Obama is a Muslim Extremist who’s sole goal is to implement Shariah Law.”

      I think an uninformed opinion is far more dangerous than no opinion at all. I imagine many of the people who elected not to vote in the midterms feel the same way.

      ***Also edited to add I checked out your page, and you’re one of those people that I like to see vote because you delve into the issues and think for yourself. Unfortunately, you’re a bit of a rarity these days.***

      • Gee, you didn’t even pick on the typo in my comment (or is it a copula deletion, common in some dialects?)

        Unfortunately, it’s often those who think purely with the reptile brain (like your example) who get the most fired up to vote. Some politicians count on that, including your own Lord Voldemort.

    • Ok, so I had to check out my previous comments after your “Gee, you didn’t even pick on the typo in my comment” statement. It seemed odd, because I’m not really a grammar nazi kind of girl. In fact, it’s my open policy that as long as your post is still decipherable as the English language, I forgive the errors.

      Then, I remembered you! You were the snarky person who came to my page and acted like I’d just posted a video of me beating a bag of puppies to death with a hammer because I mistook ‘your’ and “you’re” once in a 500 word post. As I recall, I did attack you for your grammar and spelling in that instance, because you showed up on my page, acted like an expert, and then managed a 20% error rate in a 10 word post.

      Yes, in that instance, I picked on your grammar. After all, you were coming to my site and telling me I was a friggen moron. I believe your wording was “you should learn to speak English before you try a foreign language” So yup, you want to present yourself as an expert, I expect you to act like one.

      As I recall, you were extremely rude to me. Not just then, but for several weeks following that post. To be fair, I did write an awesome poem making fun of you, but still…Why the hell are you still reading and commenting? This, I do not get.

      I genuinely stand by what I said about what you wrote about voting. I think you had a well rounded opinion and excellent ideas. You seem like a very smart person, if just a little bit pretentious.

      After our online fight, you should know that I got several messages and emails from people who’d had similar run-ins with you. I let it go, because I figured maybe you were having a bad time in your life or whatever. It was none of my business.

      But if you are going to try an interact with me, you need to understand something. You don’t get to come here and treat me like I’m an idiot, not do you get to some here and act like a victim for a fight YOU started. Yes, I might not know all your big words, despite the fact that I’m a successful novelist . Yes, I might occasionally spell things wrong, use the wrong tense or possessive sense. But I am a very smart, and most of the time, nice, person. I live by a creed. “Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing.”

      No, I’m not trolling my own page. I’m simply saying to you, based on issues that we’ve clearly had in the past, lose the snark if you want to do anything other than lurk here.

      Until this post, until I realized who you were, I was nothing but nice to you. If you check out my previous comments, you’ll find that I’m nice to most people who post here, even the ones I disagree with. It’s only when people start being superior and snarky that I get mean.

      Trust this; when I get mean, I get really mean.

      I’m not really clear on why you still come to this page. Perhaps you’re hoping to create a fight to drive views to your own page. Perhaps you just like to read what I have to say, despite our differences. Whatever it is, as long as you don’t piss me off with your comments, consider us kosher. But if you want to come to my place, act like a victim or be rude, that’s the equivalent of asking to be invited in my apartment and then pissing all over the floor.

      I don’t tolerate that, so lose the snark or stop commenting on my page.

      • Ok, my mistake. I thought there was enough distance from our first encounter that we could joke about it now.

        My memory of it is very different, but I’ll let that go.

        Uh… I really doubt that you heard from several people about me. You might have heard from ONE, who likes to use sock puppets. He didn’t like my reaction to his comments on my blog, and probably Googled for anywhere that my name appeared, then tried to smear me wherever he could.

        (in the unlikely event that you care, it’s the “William” referred to in the comments here:
        http://kitchenmudge.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/more-bad-language/ )

        I still read you because you’re sometimes entertaining. That’s all there is to it. Sometimes I couldn’t resist the temptation to comment, but you’re making that a pretty dangerous business.

    • My problem with you is this. The very first interaction you ever had on my page involved you telling me I didn’t know the difference between the words ‘your’ and ‘you’re.” Despite the fact that you pissed me off, I attempted to make a joke about it.

      What happened? You showed up again and started picking apart everything in the post, without even acknowledging the fact that you might possibly be acting like one of those jerky grammar nazis. I called you out. You played the victim.

      You know what I wanted? I wanted you to admit that you’d been rude. That was it. To say, ‘sorry bro, I just read what I wrote and realized I came off like a jerk.” That was it. I would have let it go. Instead, you tried to make me feel like an idiot. It didn‘t work, despite the fact that people like me get ‘made fun of a lot’, but you still tried. Dick move.

      Commenting on my page isn’t dangerous. I have at least 50 regular commenters that I’ve never had a problem with. Why? Because they were nice when they posted on my page and we developed a relationship. If you’ll check, you’ll notice my long time friend Alejandro frequently makes fun of me and disagrees with, but that’s ok, because he made it clear he was a cool dude before he started

      You rolled out the gate with an insult. How the hell can I be expected to decipher one person sending me ‘tongue in cheek humor’ from the hundreds of others who send me hatemail every month? I mean, you do see that I actually get enough hatemail to require a “responses to hatemail” page, right?

      You and me, we don’t have a relationship. We have nothing to ‘move past’. You presented yourself as a jerk to me the moment you posted your comment and continued to be a jerk afterwards. We’re not friends so we don’t have inside jokes.

      Yes, I did receive several messages complaining about you. They could have been one dude with a ton of sock puppets, they could have been multiple people. I don’t give a shit and I’ll tell you the same thing I told them. I’m not the queen of the internet. I only control my little corner. After that, I give a shit what happens.

      But if you’re pissing people off enough to make them go to the trouble of creating sock puppets, you should consider what you’re doing to set them off to start with. Hell, if you’re pissing off someone like me, who has all the sensitivity of a rock, you’re doing something wrong.

      No, there isn’t enough distance between our first encounter because our first encounter was only a bad one. You might be a nice person, there might be a ton of people that like you, but from what I know of you, you’re kind of a jerk. Had I known who you were when you started posting, I probably would have blocked you, because to me, you’re nothing more than yet another hate mailer in my endless sea of hate mailers. You probably got past my filters because you actually know how to spell. That doesn’t make you special. It just makes you yet another asshole in the very long asshole train I’ve dealt with to date.

      We aren’t friends and I really don’t give a shit how entertaining you find me. But post one of your snarky responses on my page again, I’ll hand you your ass, no matter how many big words you know how to use. If you think I’m being mean now, you have no idea how bad I can get. You might know linguistics, but I am the motherfucking queen of sarcasm and disdain.

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